Well, We Built Another World (I had a bad bad time tonight) pt. II
goddamn. I just wrote this long ass post in the blog window, and by accident hit some hotkey and it tried to post it and then didn't and deleted the whole goddamned thing. I'm not even going to try and replicate the whole thing, it was mostly stream of consious. but that totally takes the steam outta me for the next half hour.
it was mostly just complaining anyway, so maybe the arbitrary computer demons that just fucked me were doing me a favor.
I still need a job, and am sorta having to redefine my search. it's going to be two months soon, with nothing but 3 grand in the hole to show for it. It's so galling to borrow money, just so you can have a bad time with it. I mean if I was borrowing it so I could booze it up at the matador or buy nice dinners or something that'd be one thing. but to use it to pay my car loan while my car sits unused in the driveway and to buy starbucks to keep me awake while I sit around and do nothing but make useless phone calls, it's sorta galling. so far, this move is not proving to have been a good idea. I'm really starting to think that I should have just stuck it out in my old shitty job and just hung all my hopes on getting into arch school. I made it through a tough winter and summer, so I coulda hacked another winter and spring of it. It would have sucked, but this sucks too, and I'm not making any money. and I'm in a place where I know no one, so whereas before I saw friends too infrequently, not I just don't see them at all. oh and another thing about before and after, my job sucked, but it kept me in shape, and now I'm just getting all loose and weak again. I feel like I am lower in the world than I was in August, and I honestly didn't think that was possible.
oops I ended up just complaining again. oh well that's what a stupid blog is for anyway.
hope things are going better for my friends than they are for me. I know they are for some, but others are doing worse, so I guess I'm in the middle again. that whole, there's always somone stupider/smarter than you adage.
this rocks
it was mostly just complaining anyway, so maybe the arbitrary computer demons that just fucked me were doing me a favor.
I still need a job, and am sorta having to redefine my search. it's going to be two months soon, with nothing but 3 grand in the hole to show for it. It's so galling to borrow money, just so you can have a bad time with it. I mean if I was borrowing it so I could booze it up at the matador or buy nice dinners or something that'd be one thing. but to use it to pay my car loan while my car sits unused in the driveway and to buy starbucks to keep me awake while I sit around and do nothing but make useless phone calls, it's sorta galling. so far, this move is not proving to have been a good idea. I'm really starting to think that I should have just stuck it out in my old shitty job and just hung all my hopes on getting into arch school. I made it through a tough winter and summer, so I coulda hacked another winter and spring of it. It would have sucked, but this sucks too, and I'm not making any money. and I'm in a place where I know no one, so whereas before I saw friends too infrequently, not I just don't see them at all. oh and another thing about before and after, my job sucked, but it kept me in shape, and now I'm just getting all loose and weak again. I feel like I am lower in the world than I was in August, and I honestly didn't think that was possible.
oops I ended up just complaining again. oh well that's what a stupid blog is for anyway.
hope things are going better for my friends than they are for me. I know they are for some, but others are doing worse, so I guess I'm in the middle again. that whole, there's always somone stupider/smarter than you adage.
this rocks
posted by hotspur at 10:25 PM
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