Fingers in the Factories
Watched the movie Layercake tonight. I was sorta surprised... I had though that my general reaction to it would be the same as my reaction the brit thug caper ritchie movies that so many people like; cool, flashy, good music and nice threads and gun battles but ultimately kinda corny and trite. I didn't feel that way about this movie though. It certainly wasn't earth shattering or full of great messages, but I felt it was more understated than the ritchie movies, despsite the somewhat over done music montages, as sk pointed out to me earlier. Very slick like the others, lots of garbled accent bullshit, and the plot wasn't fantastic, but it was pretty decent. I liked how, unlike the ritchie movies which feel like extended music videos for old brit music that 90 percent of the world doesn't know, the end ties up well, but not perfectly. and I the ultimate end of the movie is kinda cool. I mean it sorta makes the movie a little self conscious doesn't it? oh well I've seen plenty of more respectable movies, so I won't chat about this one any more.
Some times certain songs come on itunes, or a part of a movie happens, or fuck I don't know, something happens and brings up all these nostalgic feelings for when I was college and tiny piece of the cosmopolitan pie that I glimpsed and perhaps partook of when I lived in Toronto. I think of all the chic bars I went to, and how towards the end my friends and I had started going to more underground events, trendier and harder to find night spots (and of course more expensive, which is why I graduated with a maxxed credit card). We weren't high rollers or anything, or really super trendy people, but our weird mix had a good nose for finding good stuff, and so I found myself at an art show on Queen West getting hit on by a very hot transexxual, and watching a guy suspend himself from the rafters of the gallery on hooks through his skin, surrounded by modern art about primates. Or the various after hours clubs we found through others that made us feel special... I was introduced to the matador, and in turn my group of friends introduced a score of other people to it. I can actually say that 'I remember when that place was good' although it may have been good and bad for decades before I went there. This isn't terribly original, but we were at the Dance cave all the time, and before it blew up, and we weren't even hipsters, my friends just always got dates from there and the beer was cheap and hte music was good. When I was last there, we couldn't even get into the place at 11:30 because it was 'at capacity.' Sheesh. There were countless other things, scrambling around drunk and tired on the railroad tracks at spadina dupont at 8AM after a long night abd breakfast at the Vesta Lunch. Jesus it's weird, we even cultivated relationships with bouncers and night people... it actually paid off.
But after all of this has become memory for me--I haven't done anything in the last year that even remotly aproximates that stuff--I have to wonder if my longing for that stuff is for real, or just for an image that I think is real. I have many times throughout the last year wished I was in a more cosmo place doing more cosmo things, but I have to wonder, if it was really so damned important to me, wouldn't I be doing it somehow right now? Maybe not, I don't know, because I don't have many friends nearby here, and I certainly wouldn't have done any of that stuff in TO without my friends dragging me around... but still I try and take solace in the fact that most of that behavior was silly and empty, fun but ultimately devoid of satisfaction. I mean for every one of those steller, eye opening nights, there were three nights spent at O' Gradys playing pool and drinking lots of bad beer, or nights where we tried to do something, but nothing happened. Most of that was in first and second year, but still, it was a balance in the end. But sometimes I really worry that thats it. I'll never do crazy fun shit like that again. I mean I hold out hope for grad school wrt a fun social life, but who knows, those four years may be the only fun crazy years. The weirdest part, and it sorta dissapoints me, is that I don't have quite the taste for it. For instance last I was in Toronto, me and a bunch of friends that were all there at the same time tried to kinda relive the previous year in a weekend. We couldn't do it totally since the Dance Cave was closed and the Matador still wasn't serving and not all of us had been drinking much in the intervening year so, for instance, my tolerance sucked and I drank way too much and left the Vesta at 3AM and stumbled back to my buddies house without everyone and I guess sorta passed out in a ball on teh lawn. Because they came back and woke me up. For some reason that stuff wasn't clicking for me. But I suppose its a frequency thing and if I was doing it all the time it wouldn't faze me. That and we were all there to reunite, but the evening plans also had the effect of getting in the way of that to a degree. Oh well. All I can say is that I hope if and when I get to grad school, I'll be able to construct a social life for myself that if different from the one before, might be just as satisfying. Because truth be told, this on my own all the time shit sucks.
ok whinings done for the night.
consider joining the something awful forums, they rock
Some times certain songs come on itunes, or a part of a movie happens, or fuck I don't know, something happens and brings up all these nostalgic feelings for when I was college and tiny piece of the cosmopolitan pie that I glimpsed and perhaps partook of when I lived in Toronto. I think of all the chic bars I went to, and how towards the end my friends and I had started going to more underground events, trendier and harder to find night spots (and of course more expensive, which is why I graduated with a maxxed credit card). We weren't high rollers or anything, or really super trendy people, but our weird mix had a good nose for finding good stuff, and so I found myself at an art show on Queen West getting hit on by a very hot transexxual, and watching a guy suspend himself from the rafters of the gallery on hooks through his skin, surrounded by modern art about primates. Or the various after hours clubs we found through others that made us feel special... I was introduced to the matador, and in turn my group of friends introduced a score of other people to it. I can actually say that 'I remember when that place was good' although it may have been good and bad for decades before I went there. This isn't terribly original, but we were at the Dance cave all the time, and before it blew up, and we weren't even hipsters, my friends just always got dates from there and the beer was cheap and hte music was good. When I was last there, we couldn't even get into the place at 11:30 because it was 'at capacity.' Sheesh. There were countless other things, scrambling around drunk and tired on the railroad tracks at spadina dupont at 8AM after a long night abd breakfast at the Vesta Lunch. Jesus it's weird, we even cultivated relationships with bouncers and night people... it actually paid off.
But after all of this has become memory for me--I haven't done anything in the last year that even remotly aproximates that stuff--I have to wonder if my longing for that stuff is for real, or just for an image that I think is real. I have many times throughout the last year wished I was in a more cosmo place doing more cosmo things, but I have to wonder, if it was really so damned important to me, wouldn't I be doing it somehow right now? Maybe not, I don't know, because I don't have many friends nearby here, and I certainly wouldn't have done any of that stuff in TO without my friends dragging me around... but still I try and take solace in the fact that most of that behavior was silly and empty, fun but ultimately devoid of satisfaction. I mean for every one of those steller, eye opening nights, there were three nights spent at O' Gradys playing pool and drinking lots of bad beer, or nights where we tried to do something, but nothing happened. Most of that was in first and second year, but still, it was a balance in the end. But sometimes I really worry that thats it. I'll never do crazy fun shit like that again. I mean I hold out hope for grad school wrt a fun social life, but who knows, those four years may be the only fun crazy years. The weirdest part, and it sorta dissapoints me, is that I don't have quite the taste for it. For instance last I was in Toronto, me and a bunch of friends that were all there at the same time tried to kinda relive the previous year in a weekend. We couldn't do it totally since the Dance Cave was closed and the Matador still wasn't serving and not all of us had been drinking much in the intervening year so, for instance, my tolerance sucked and I drank way too much and left the Vesta at 3AM and stumbled back to my buddies house without everyone and I guess sorta passed out in a ball on teh lawn. Because they came back and woke me up. For some reason that stuff wasn't clicking for me. But I suppose its a frequency thing and if I was doing it all the time it wouldn't faze me. That and we were all there to reunite, but the evening plans also had the effect of getting in the way of that to a degree. Oh well. All I can say is that I hope if and when I get to grad school, I'll be able to construct a social life for myself that if different from the one before, might be just as satisfying. Because truth be told, this on my own all the time shit sucks.
ok whinings done for the night.
consider joining the something awful forums, they rock
posted by hotspur at 11:55 PM
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